April 26th, 2017 § permalink
The website ticks just out of time with the clock in the room. The pair keep pace, more or less. They’re just out of sync enough to notice.
The clock clicked 20 minutes to 11 roughly the same moment the website went from the 200,000s to the 199,999s. Each click of the clock brings another second on earth, another seven or eight miles tearing through space.
It’s going 79,032 miles per hour through the void, 198,381 or so miles from its target. I’m motionless, lit by a lamp behind, some streetlights outside and a gleaming laptop screen 934,000,000 miles away watching the spacecraft Cassini dive toward Saturn.
The clock ticks away another heartbeat, another seven or eight miles. » Read the rest of this entry «
April 14th, 2017 § permalink
Candy canes are breath mints, the ones that stack up untouched in the bowl by a diner’s cash register.
Turkey’s a sandwich meat noted for being drier than chicken.
Who the hell likes candy corn anyway?
And, until a few days in spring every year, matzo is a dry cracker. » Read the rest of this entry «
March 15th, 2017 § permalink
I was told the TV was mine, that the long day earned me a couch and control of the remote.
I looked at the couch and blanket and said “I’m going to watch a TED Talk about atoms.”
And within three minutes, I was. » Read the rest of this entry «
January 11th, 2017 § permalink
His name wasn’t Bhopal, couldn’t have been. That’s the name of the town in India where the pesticide gas leak killed all those people in the ’80s.
He told me his name when we first met, but his accent was so thick with West Africa that, whatever it was, I heard “Bhopal.” After that, for the month or two we knew each other, I would slightly mumble when I had to address him directly.
I met him on the street by Soi Ratchathewi near my apartment in Bangkok, Thailand. It was a sweat-hot night, as they all were. I’m built for bogs and ski resorts — I don’t know what I was thinking moving for four months to a city carved from jungle.
That’s a lie. I knew exactly what I was thinking. » Read the rest of this entry «
January 2nd, 2017 § permalink
I have an idea. I want one of you to take it from me. » Read the rest of this entry «
November 7th, 2016 § permalink
Voting is like improv comedy: The fact you’re unprepared is only amusing to you.
For the rest of us, those who take more than one stab at existence and who tire of any activity with a cover and two-drink minimum to watch state school theater majors laugh harder at their own jokes than the audience ever will, we like to be a little more prepared.
So in the vein of my Bare Minimum Voting Guide from the primary, a six-step plan that will get you voting like a champ in no time. * » Read the rest of this entry «
October 26th, 2016 § permalink
I sipped from the little plastic cup as the bearded man with a skinny T-shirt that either advertised a band or a beer chattered on about ABVs and IBUs.
But I wanted RBIs. » Read the rest of this entry «
September 9th, 2016 § permalink
It’s a bright sort of darkness, the type city people confuse for the real thing.
Streetlamps and buses, trains and cars, glowing store signs and homes’ motion-activated security systems mean it will never get truly dark here.
No one’s going to stumble and cry out here, lost in an endless black. At worst they’ll look slightly up and a green sign off a lamppost will tell them if they’ve made it to Damen yet. » Read the rest of this entry «
September 5th, 2016 § permalink
It was a party. Friends and loved ones and a cake so heavily candled that it looks like wildfire in the photos popping up on Facebook this morning.
It was the first part of a weekend that’s taking me away from this city, this weird addictive city that can’t decide if it wants to treat us well or shoddy hour by hour.
I don’t know where I’m going. » Read the rest of this entry «
August 1st, 2016 § permalink
Bozo’s studio is full of barbecue grills, like five of them. » Read the rest of this entry «