1,001 Chicago Afternoons

From the June, 30, 1863 Chicago Tribune:

WANTED — A Correspondence with a young lady of intelligence, vivacity, and a cultivated mind by one of Uncle Sam’s gay young Nephews, who wears a fine coat and shoulders a rifle, and who having endured the hardships and encountered the dangers of several active campaigns, finds himself now lying in garrison, with very little prospect of having to take the field again very soon, and is growing tired of inactivity. He has therefore concluded to enter on his own account into a campaigne [sic] of love, with his pen and ink for his army of conquest, and Cupid for his Aid, and takes this mode of challenging the fair readers of the Tribune. Should any young lady of the above description feel belligerent enough to risk an engagement with a handsome son of Mars in the lists of love, she has only to write as sweet a note as she can afford to, to “Don Juan” Co. G, Western Sharpshooters Corinth Miss. and the challenge will be considered accepted and the contest begin. She must prepare herself to abide the consequences and he will do likewise. Real name will be given if desired, and photographs will be exchanged if agreeable to the lady.

It’s late at night. I’m on vacation. I can’t stop reading this dead man’s words. » Read the rest of this entry «

Young and black, dressed in the way that’s style to some and a night terror to others, he leaned over the escalator railing talking to everyone heading down to the subway platform.

“How ya doing? How ya doing? How ya doing?” he said to everyone as they scampered down the subway rabbit hole.

“How ya doing?” he said to me.

“Oh I’m doing fine,” I said, not looking back as I continued my scamper down.

A few seconds later, I heard a call after me. » Read the rest of this entry «

Setting the precedent of “Sure, Clinton’s ‘undeniably capable of leading the United States,’ but we’re going with this guy,” the Chicago Tribune Editorial Board endorsed Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson for president last week, flying in the face of arguments put forth by such media outlets as the New Republic, the Daily Beast and the Chicago Tribune.

The ed board’s argument, which you can read here, is that voters are crying out for principles, not competence, capability, ability to win the race or a junior high Social Studies understanding of world politics.

But we here at the 1,001 Chicago Afternoons Editorial Board demand more.

If we’re naming the president based on nice, why stop at candidates who have filed for the race? Or candidates who are politicians? Or non-fictional?

Based on the Chicago Tribune Editorial Board’s apparent list of qualifications for running the nation, here are a list of four candidates just as principled and just as qualified to be president as Gary Johnson. » Read the rest of this entry «