#854: 1,001 Chicago Afternoons’ Updated Privacy Policy

November 24th, 2017 § permalink

As Chicago is as quiet as a tryptophan slumber, I’m stuck at work and I’d rather gouge an eye than cover Black Friday shopping, I will be using this post to announce new and exciting changes to the privacy policy for 1,001 Chicago Afternoons and its multinational corporate holding shell, thouagoftnernoo Inc., a Delaware Corporation.

We’re as open with our policies as we are with your data. That’s the 1,001 Chicago Afternoons Way.® » Read the rest of this entry «

#853: Scream

November 22nd, 2017 § permalink

I hate the smart ones the most.

Hate is the wrong word. I don’t hate them. I hate that they exist, that there are crazy screaming men out there savvy enough to include notes about the Federal Reserve Bank and on the Bears’ handling of Jay Cutler in their hobo screed. I hate that I can’t reach them. I hate that there’s nothing I can do.

He started so good too. » Read the rest of this entry «

#852: 6:30 a.m. at the Porno Shop

November 20th, 2017 § permalink

He looked the exact sort of person who should be working at a porno shop at 6:30 a.m. » Read the rest of this entry «

#851: For the Chuckles

November 17th, 2017 § permalink

Occasionally the chattering teens let the sound of football break through.

The football was on TV, the teens were on plastic chairs pushed beneath the two-tops Tetrised into the restaurant. The usual corner pizza place contrivances were there — heat-lamp rack for the slices, illustrations of fat Italians in chef hats on 3/4 of the walls.

People shoved in and people shoved out, slices in hands. Only the teens, the football and a middle-aged man working a crossword puzzle from a barstool along the storefront window were permanent fixtures.

Eventually the man got up and went back to the kitchen. Eventually one of the teen couples left, saying goodbye to the other one on the way out. All that was left was one teen couple, an anxious-looking blonde woman standing behind the register and hundreds of photos of Hegewisch Chuckles. » Read the rest of this entry «

#850: Barricades

November 15th, 2017 § permalink

There is a spot where the dollar stores no longer have chain-link fences and concertina wire rounding their roofs.

There’s a place along Illinois Route 1 — Halsted Street to Chicagoans — where the dollar stores just become dollar stores, no extra security needed in metal and mesh. Then there’s a place further north where they disappear entirely. » Read the rest of this entry «

#849: Big Marsh

November 13th, 2017 § permalink

There are only a few signs you’re still in a city. A spider’s web of telephone lines off in the distance. A tanker truck speeding down an access road to one of the lingering industrial sites that survived the 20th century. A name on the signs that say not to fish, get off the trail, let your dogs bother the birds or go into the fenced area.

You’re in nature. You’re in Chicago. » Read the rest of this entry «

#848: The Last War Dance

November 10th, 2017 § permalink

Chicago’s last war dance started by the Wrigley Building, then headed west along the riverbank past Trump Tower, Marina City, and The 3D Printer Experience. » Read the rest of this entry «

#847: Making It

November 8th, 2017 § permalink

He didn’t talk for as long as he could.

You could tell he wanted to. You could tell he had comments to add, things to say in our conversation that he was not a part of. He’d chuckle silently at a joke one of us made, his body quivering a little behind the wheel. Or he’d nod along at a point as he flicked on the turn signal or merged into traffic.

But he held out from the moment he picked us up at the 26th and California courthouse in Little Village up until the pre-rush hour glut by the Ogilvie train station when he just couldn’t take it any more. » Read the rest of this entry «

#846: The Purpose-Driven Life

November 6th, 2017 § permalink

For all I know, I’m romanticizing a stage set from a guerrilla student film.

For all I know, this is a fantasy I concocted on a drowning wet day in a vacant bread factory in Bronzeville. » Read the rest of this entry «

#845: Julie’s Angles

November 3rd, 2017 § permalink

The bed is problematic.  » Read the rest of this entry «

  • Get Stories by Email

  • Chicago Corruption Walking Tour

    Join the email list for tour dates and info.