#157: The Honeybee

April 29th, 2013

Her socks came up to her knees, culminating at the top with little gold embroidered bees advertising Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Honey liqueur.

The rest of her outfit — the short, short short-shorts, the too-tight shirt that said “Keeper,” the bee-embroidered headband and the amber-yellow nerd glasses — was advertising a few things, only one of which was booze.

“Whooo!” she yelled, dancing to the music and gyrating near but not touching the man in the tie and slacks. “I’m a baaaad influence!”

Under the glaring fluorescent light and the walls of phones and tablets of the Verizon place on Milwaukee, she danced to the in-store music.

“I brought the party to him!” she yelled, pointing at the Verizon clerk demonstrating her new phone’s functions. “Whooo!”

I guess she was a shot girl, an employee of the Brown-Forman Corporation (NYSE: BF.B) who hit the bars in tight “Keeper” shirts to sell them on shitty liqueur and the implied availability of sex.

Tits and sugary booze, even if you have to run to the Verizon store en route to work.

“Whooo!” she corrected herself as she continued to dance. “He brought the party!”

She continued to grind and shake, flipping her long brown hair as she danced by the customer service counter.

“He’s in heaven,” the guy setting up my new phone whispered, gesturing across the store to his co-worker and the woman who turned herself into a living, dancing corporate logo even when she didn’t have to.

I don’t know what made this honeybee dance. Maybe it was the goofiness of the moment, of being forced to run errands in a shirt designed to sell her breasts. Maybe the clothes possessed her, like how police officers and circus clowns are different people when in their work clothes.

Maybe it was her natural personality, that she actually liked using her body and dance beats to arouse men she didn’t care about, whoooing all the time.

Maybe she was directing us to a source of nectar.

Whatever it was, in that store on that sunny Sunday afternoon, along walls of display phones and tablets where could could play demos of Angry Birds or flip through pictures of actors pretending to be on vacation, among all the tech the Verizon corporation provides, a Jack Daniels honeybee danced.

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