#811: Screw You, Iceland

July 3rd, 2017

The storefront is closed for the day, the workers off to turn a Tuesday holiday into four days of relaxation and barbecue.

Along the stretch of Michigan Avenue, other revelers wander by. It’s the morning, so they’re still happy and energetic. It will be hours before they slog back to the hotel lugging overtired children, too much SUE at the Field Museum merchandise and probably more than one Chicago Cubs hat.

The storefront, though, is unnoticed. Pasted print-up in the window pledging holiday hours and darkness inside. Which is too bad because I really wanted that damn magazine.

I don’t mean to tip my hand, but there’s a chance I’m appearing in the July/August issue of AAA Living magazine, due out this week. It’s a travel magazine put out by the people who will send a mechanic your way if your car breaks down on the highway.

It will be a little blurb on the Chicago Corruption Walking Tour, and they asked me to send a photo, but that’s all I know. I don’t know if it’ll be a small feature, or a listing on a calendar, a front-page spread saying “Paul Dailing: The New Face of Everything Awesome and Anna Kendrick Thinks He’s Hot Too.”

I don’t even know if it’s still happening. Maybe this post will make me look like a chump when the issue comes out and it’s 100 percent Dailing-free.

All I know is I’m sick of Iceland.

The downside of knowing an article is due is that it’s possible to refresh, refresh and keep refreshing your browser to wait for updates that will never come. I’ve spent much of the morning hoping that AAA Living’s “Find Southern Charm in Charleston,” “7 Ways Iceland Will Win Your Hjarta” and “QUIZ: How Well Do You Know the Great Lakes?” articles will magically turn into a picture of me yelling at a crowd of tourists about gerrymandering.

Nope, still “5 Iconic Drives to Inspire You.” Nope, still “POLL: What’s Your National Parks Personality?” (I apparently should go to the Grand Canyon and the Pipe Spring National Monument.)

Although I have not yet replaced “3 Places To Tune In To Music History” or “A Caribbean Cruise With Teens? Yes!” I still feel compelled to click click and click again hoping to replace Iceland or the photo of Prince from the blurb about Paisley Park.

The store on Michigan sits closed. I sit clicking. Click.

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